Men and women keep things from each other. But what they keep differs.

MEN

Dr. Gary Emery is the author or co-author of ten books including Overcoming Depression: Best Practices for Therapy (1999) and Getting Undepressed: How a Woman Can Change Her Life Through Cognitive Therapy (1988).

1. A man will not admit to a woman that they do mind that their mate has a romantic past. According to Dr. Emery, “More often than not it bothers them a great deal. Men are more insecure than they ever admit. A man does not enjoy the thought that the woman in his life was once possessed by another man. He harbors a nagging fear that, by comparison, he may not quite measure up.”
2. A man will not admit to a woman his true height or penis size. If a man is just a little short of average on either of these, “he will stretch it a bit (the truth, that is).” Dr. Emery adds, “Men are not as good at maths as they think. They often confuse six inches with nine.”
3. A man will not admit to a woman when he is lost. “A man usually hates to ask anyone for directions if there’s a woman sitting next to him in the car. It’s like admitting he’s incompetent.”
4. A man will not admit to not knowing why the car won’t start. “To admit that they haven’t the foggiest idea is another admission of being unmanly or inadequate. So when a woman asks if she should call for help, the man says he’ll handle it and pulls out the jumper cables. When the mechanic arrives and declares that the engine was flooded, the man claims that he knew it all along and was about to check for flooding next.”
5. A man will not admit to his true sports ability. “Admitting to sitting on the bench or not having played at all is to admit being incapable.”
6. A man will never admit being afraid. “Being afraid is a social stigma for males. So men have nurtured a strong outward image that they maintain at almost any cost, especially around women.”
7. A man will not admit to being anxious over calling a woman for a date. “Men just can’t bring themselves to admit that a woman has any power over their feelings.”
8. A man will not admit to feeling pain. “When a man drops a piano on his bare toe, he’ll pretend he didn’t feel a thing.”
9. A man will not admit to lying to women. “A man may spend three hours cleaning his apartment before his date arrives, strategically leaving things like a sport’s trophy on display. When his date comes over and asks if he worked hard at making the place so presentable, he will say it always looks that way while directing her attention to the trophy.”
10. A man will not admit to how close he is attached to his mother.

WOMEN

Dr. Matti Gershenfeld is the author or co-author of eight books including (with Rodney Napier) Groups: Theory and Experience (7th edition, 2004) and How to Find Love, Sex and Intimacy After Fifty: A Woman's Guide (1991). Dr. Gershenfeld says that “a woman would almost die rather than admit certain things to a man---things they prefer keeping secret.

1. A woman will not admit to her true weight. According to Dr. Gershenfeld, I know women who will never get on a scale when their mate is around, or who lie about their weight. Why? Women are fearful of being less desirable as they grow older.”
2. A woman will not admit to her true age. “I’ve known long-married men who don’t know their wives’ true age.”
3. A woman will not admit her true measurements. “Most women keep their vital statistics private.”
4. A woman will not admit her true financial situation. “Most women don’t want their men to find out how much they have stashed away. Women never completely trust men. They rely on secret savings to ensure a measure of control over their lives.”
5. A woman will not admit her true personal spending on herself. “Most women never let men know how much they spend at the hairdresser, on cosmetics, clothes, or fashion accessories.”
6. A woman will not admit her fear of abandonment. “It’s a woman’s universal fear­--and one she almost never reveals. No matter how beautiful, good, or accomplished she is, a woman is never completely sure of her hold on her man. At every age, a woman fears abandonment and worries that the man in her life will be seduced by another woman.”
7. A woman will not admit her sexual fantasies. “Women don’t want men to know if they fantasize about other men while making love with their mates. They keep it secret for fear of offending their partners. Also, they know that if they admit to having fantasies, it gives men a green light to have them too.
8. A woman will not admit that she’s smarter than the man in her life. “Most women work to keep their man thinking that he’s smarter (the fragile male ego), when of course it’s the reverse. Most women are attracted to a man less intelligent than themselves. A more intelligent man is aware of their tricks---and harder to control. A truly intelligent man is frightening to most women.”
9. A woman will not admit that she controls her man and knows exactly how to get her way with him. “In Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, the Wife of Bath was right: What does a woman want most from a man? Sovereignty.”
10. A woman will not admit to how close she is attached to her mother.

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