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| Illustrations by Rod Clement |
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What is real success? How many of us really become successful? Can we measure success in terms of other people's yardsticks---money, power, possessions, influence, fame---or merely by our own sense of happiness?
According to psychologist, Dr. Gerald Kushel, almost all of us enjoy limited success, but only about four per cent of us attain unlimited success. Only one in every 25 adults is truly successful or what Dr. Kushel calls achieving “three dimensional success”. That is, one is successful in the following three life dimensions: career achievement, enjoyable work, and fulfilling personal lives. Such rare and fortunate people are what Dr. Kushel calls “uncommonly successful people” or simply USPs. They may not be the richest in terms of monetary wealth, the most powerful, those with the most possessions, the most influential, or the most famous, but they are the real success stories---the true achievers---quiet or otherwise.
Dr. Kushel has researched the psychology of success for more than forty years. A retired professor of counseling psychology at Long Island University in New York, he is the author of books such as the classic EFFECTIVE THINKING FOR UNCOMMON SUCCESS (Amacom, 1991) and THE INSIDE TRACK TO SUCCESSFUL MANAGEMENT (Thorogood, 2003).
Based upon his recently completely study of some 1,200 adults in a variety of careers (the unemployed are excluded) Dr. Kushel argues that career achievement is the most commonly attained dimension of success. More than ninety-five per cent of workers believe they are successful in job performance.
Nevertheless, slightly more than fifteen per cent of workers who are successful in performing their jobs enjoy neither their work nor their personal lives. Dr. Kushel writes, “while they did a good job for their employers, their lives were empty. Their success was superficial--one dimensional.”
Furthermore, slightly more than eighty per cent of workers who are successful in job performance also enjoy their work. They achieve two dimensional success. Yet, Dr. Kushel contends, what is sad is that “most thought their successful, enjoyable careers resulted from a willingness to sacrifice their personal lives. One executive I asked to rate his personal life responded, ‘Personal life? What personal life?’”
Only about four per cent of workers achieve the three dimensional success of being good at their jobs, enjoying their work, and having fulfilling personal lives. They are the USPs.
Dr. Kushel then subjected the USPs he identified to further testing. He discovered that USPs share three personality traits that distinguish them from other individuals. First, they have inner calm that helps them to stay focused. Second, they have clear goals and a sense of purpose that guides their lives. Third, they have an adventurous spirit which gives them both the courage to take necessary risks while also allowing them to laugh at themselves now and again.
But according to Dr. Kushel, USPs also share “an uncommon way of thinking---what I call ‘effective thinking’.” He adds, “effective thinking is not the same as positive thinking, although positive thinking can sometimes be effective. Effective thinking is any thought pattern that leads, directly or indirectly, to personal and professional success . . . to a rich and satisfying life. Effective thinking is always result-oriented. There is an effective thought for every situation we encounter.”
Dr. Kushel also found that most USPs are not born effective thinkers. They had to learn it. In doing this, they follow three general principles. First, they find out exactly what they want in each dimension of their life. Second, they commit themselves to achieving these goals. Third, they adopt an approach to effective thinking which employs the following three steps.
Step 1 Taking notice. USPs continually take stock of their life. Dr. Kushel writes that “USPs will sometimes stop five or six times a day to take stock of their lives.” Am I doing well? Am I moving toward my goal? He advises that “if you can honestly answer these questions in the affirmative, no additional action is need. Go back to what you were doing. But if the answer is no, you must pause to get back on track.”
Step 2 Pausing. USPs are not afraid to pause in order to get back on the success track. Dr. Kushel adds, “whatever the duration of the pause, its purpose remains the same---to break your self-defeating mind set.”
Step 3 Identifying effective thoughts. USPs take responsibility for their life situation. They shift away from “defective thoughts" which result in excuses for failure and create ‘effective thoughts’ which replace them and pave the way for success.” According to Dr. Kushel, USPs understand the role of anger, depression, intimacy, needs, resentment, and set-backs in the process of achieving success. For example, USPs think of set-backs not as failures, but as learning opportunities. He writes, “people who have never had set-backs are most likely operating far below their true capabilities.”
Step 4 Choosing. Dr. Kushel writes that “unfortunately, most people believe they have little control over their thoughts, and so are enslaved by them.” But, “as USPs already know, humans are unique among animals in that we can choose our thoughts.” Simply put, USPs achieve uncommon success, because that is what they choose.
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