"MOTHER-TO-BE" FANTASIES ARE PREGNANT WITH MEANING

During what period in life does a woman fantasize most?

Chances are it is when she is pregnant.

Women have long reported, and research confirms, that a woman's fantasy life is the most active and varied when she is pregnant.  This is especially true during the third trimester.  Unfortunately, many women feel guilty and deeply ashamed by the strange and even bizarre thoughts and dreams that they have during this time.  And frequently they are reluctant even to mention these fantasies to anyone---even their spouse, best friend, or doctor.  Violent and gruesome fantasies during pregnancy can often be very disturbing to women.  For example, Dr. N.J. Chodorow reports on cases where women will experience “destructive wishes” towards their own womb and will “sabotage” their own fertility in order to escape the anxiety.  Dr. Chodorow, from the San Francisco Psychoanalytic Institute, reports this in the Fall 2003 issue of the JOURNAL OF THE AMERICAN PSYCHOANALYTIC ASSOCIATION.  In any case, some mothers-to-be, afraid of the terrifying mental images they have never before experienced, may even question their own sanity.

However, research suggests that women need not be embarrassed in any way by mother-to-be fantasies.  They are very common and perfectly normal.  The physical and chemical changes occurring in the body probably cause them.  And when the baby appears, the fantasies disappear.

According to one researcher, such fantasy states during pregnancy are themselves “pregnant” with meaning so to speak.  Indeed, Dr. Laurie Sherwen argues in her now classic article in the Fall 1991 PRE- AND PERINATAL PSYCHOLOGY JOURNAL that mother-to-be fantasies ought to be studied for what they reveal about many aspects of human behaviour.  Dr. Sherwen, a professor in the School of Nursing at the College of New Jersey, attempted in this article to undertake the first preliminary classification of "mother-to-be fantasies" by studying the frequency of each type in 153 pregnant women.

Dr. Sherwen discovered that mother-to-be fantasies fall into one of eight categories.

1. Everyday fantasies. 
Mothers-to-be often fantasize about characteristics of the infant-to-be:  The baby's sex, hair, eyes, and other features, their looks at various ages, their future career, and living and caring for the baby.  In Dr. Sherwen's study, about 38 per cent of mother-to-be fantasies were in this category. 

2. Fantasies about being attacked. 
A mother-to-be’s feelings of physical vulnerability during this time results in fantasies about being attacked.  For instance, some women fantasize about intruders or burglars violating their home.  Sometimes a mother symbol is attacked.  For example, a dream about a pet dog about to have puppies being attacked by larger dogs is a commonly reported image.  About 21 per cent of mother-to-be fantasies were in this category.

3. Fantasies about having an abnormal infant. 
Such fantasies include images of having a deformed infant, having multiple infants, and having delivery complications.  Some women report dreams that their baby keeps on growing until the mother explodes.  About 12 per cent of fantasies were in this category.

4. Fantasies about restoration. 
Mothers-to-be often fantasize about the link between the infant-to-be and deceased family members.  Dr. Sherwen writes, women who have these fantasies “seem to be restoring the family chain which has been sundered by death; they are adding another link to the chain with a new baby . . . . These fantasies are unusual because they deal primarily with death, and yet, they are accompanied by positive feelings.”  About 11 per cent of fantasies were in this category.

5. Fantasies about sexual encounters. 
Dr. Sherwen writes that “these fantasies can evoke positive or negative emotions”.  Interestingly, the key to which emotion is aroused seems to be the perceived legitimacy of the fantasized mate.  For example, fantasies about sexual encounters with a husband seem to be a great source of pleasure for the pregnant woman.  On the other hand, fantasies about sexual encounters with an individual perceived as taboo for the pregnant woman, perhaps an old boy-friend, a male obstetrician, or a sometimes even a male relative, can produce great guilt.  About 8 per cent of fantasies were in this category.

6. Fantasies about being enclosed or drowning.
Mothers-to-be frequently describe dreams dealing with being inside enclosures:  tunnels, cars, tiny rooms, and so on.  In some of these fantasies, the mother-to-be is unable to escape.  About 5 per cent of fantasies were in this category.

7. Fantasies about forgetting or losing things. 
Oddly, mothers-to-be sometimes recount unpleasant fantasies about losing objects or people who are close to them.  About 2.5 per cent of fantasies were in this category.

8. Fantasies about being unprepared. 
Dr. Sherwen writes, “several of the pregnant women described another type of recurring fantasy---that of being unprepared for labor, either in symbolic form or directly stated.”  About 2.5 per cent of fantasies were in this category.

Dr. Sherwen argues that doctors, nurses, and midwives should never ignore such mother-to-be fantasies.  She writes that “It is often disturbing to the woman, and may provide insights into client concerns of clinical relevance to the health care professional who delivers care to this population . . . .  Assessment of fantasy state during pregnancy is seen as one important component to be included in delivery of care to the whole woman.”  Hardly out of this world, mother-to-be fantasies are now out of the closet.

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